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Bright Spots & Dark Pieces

No pregnancy announcements No weird cravings No feeling a baby's little kick No maternity clothes  No doctors appointments No ultrasounds or sonograms  No gender reveals  No due dates No strangers in the store asking when I'm due  No morning sickness  No Lamaze classes  No " belly bump" pictures  No birth plan  No labor and delivery.... Today I stared at these Black Eyed Susans in my yard and I couldn't help but notice their conflict. I was struck by how the brilliant color contrasted with the deep darkness. I realized I understood the tension between the yellow petals & their black center because it mirrored how I have been feeling lately. I know what it's like to be made up of both parts, to have bright pops of color & a darkness that can't be ignored.  Everyone in my life is so excited for me as we work towards our adoption. But here I sit, a dark blot amidst their yellow joy. My heart is stil...

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